public letter to my husband

Dear Matthew, 
Close your eyes and imagine the biggest thank you that you have ever seen....Mine comin' at you is even bigger.  
You giving me yesterday and today "off" to come and go/come and nurse Hope as I please, has been amazing for my spirit and refreshed my love for my vocation. You always seem to know just the right way to take care of me in the midst of our crazy life with 4 small children.
Although there is nothing else I would rather be doing than being your wife and mother to our children, having this time to pray, to think, and go to the bathroom alone and in peace has been a little slice of Heaven. 
God surpassed my expectations when he gave me you as my husband. Seriously, you are a zillion times better than what I ever imagined in my head or for that matter any romantic, love story movie that I have seen. YOU swept me off my feet 8 years ago and the sweeping just keeps on coming. 
Laughter and tears fill the air in our home, making life never ever boring. And having you, my bff, to crawl up the mountains of life, soak in the the sun from our view, and sometimes even wade through swampy mess of things makes everything better. 
Thank you for being the best man that I know. I agape you. 
Ps. Do you see why it is so hard for me to get anything done during the day? Just humor me and say yes :). 

*sigh* My view for the morning hours, thank you. 

Sanctifying Sunday: Thankfulness-the 10%

Another Sanctifying Sunday with Matt... Enjoy!

Ten percent isn't bad, at least in regards to investments.  Many people would be happy to have that ROI (return on investment) these days.  Winning the lottery has the chances of one in 175 million, which makes ten percent look pretty good.  In today's Gospel only one out of the ten lepers returns to Jesus to say thanks. 

So, Jesus' stats are better than the market and playing the lottery, but somehow seem to fall way short of what is supposed to happen when you're healed of leprosy.  

Among all of the stories in the Gospel, today's has always been one of my favorites. Ten lepers come to him for healing and when they leave all ten are healed.  However, only one returns to thank him. 

I think of the other 9 who were healed. I heard a priest once say that maybe the other 9 didn't realize they were healed. I've never had leprosy, but I can imagine that if you did you would for sure know if it's gone.  For heaven's sake, leprosy still today sequesters people to the fringes of society, it's a terrible disease that eats away at your body.  Webster defines it as a contagious disease that affects the skin, mucous membranes, and nerves, causing discoloration and lumps on the skin and in sever cases disfigurement and deformities....

I like this Gospel story because it hits so close to home. Countless times I've prayed for myself or others for a physical, spiritual, and emotional healing. And through the power of God these healings DO take place!

Sometimes, I find myself like the 9 who don't even return to say thanks.

Other times, I'm like the one who returns to say thanks but doesn't fall down in adoration.

The best times, are when I return to say thanks and fall down before God in an action of complete thanksgiving.

This Gospel story is a reflection of God's infinite and unending mercy to save sinners.  There are no more racial or socioeconomic boundaries.  It is the foreigner among the 10 that returns to say thanks.  The other nine are of Jesus' blood- Isrealites.  This guy's a Samaritan and he's the thankful foreigner.  God's mercy knows no bounds.  

An attitude of gratitude goes a long, long way in our lives and the implications that follow from being thankful are far reaching.  If you're having a hard time with life, a specific situation, relationship, whatever it may be-- try focusing on the good things that God has already done for you.  Put on an "attitude of gratitude" and I guarantee things will begin to change for the better.  

Having a complete heart full of gratitude that impels one to return in thanksgiving will have profound consequences.  

I'm thankful for these 4 healthy kids. 

Don't be caught in up in the 90%, which chose to be thankless.  It's a bad place to be. It's way better to be returning in complete thanksgiving.         

Peace, 

Matt Loboda

Sanctifying Sunday- God's Poor

Matt is taking over for another Sanctifying Sunday. I was completely distracted by one squirmy Hopie girl and one talking Gracie girl, so my reading of his words helped me to get a better grasp on today's Mass readings. I hope it does the same for you!
Yesterday, as I was driving our little crew to a party for Br. Joachim, I was thinking of today's Gospel. It was a party celebrating his return from Nicaragua and 10 years of religious life. It reminded me of many things, but most importantly the abundance that exists here in the U.S.A. The night before Br. Joachim told me that the average daily wage is $4 US dollars in Nicaragua!  
We pulled off the interstate and at the end of the exit was a man holding a sign written: "HARD TIMES need HELP." I didn't have any money on me, but I thought I would at least make eye contact and shoot a smile. I wasn't uncomfortable in the least, but let's just say he wasn't interested in eye contact and smiles. So, we proceeded on our way with Grace serenading us with twinkle twinkle little star from the back seat. 

  I will warn you that the readings for the Mass (Amos 6: 1-4) today should have had you shifting in your seat. Simply put, the words from the Holy Scriptures are great action words calling us to fight for our faith.  
This is what I conjure up in my head as I listen to the words of Amos:

•       WOE to you that lie down on beds of ivory (in my case it's a Tempur-Pedic).
•       WOE to those that eat to excess (I just ordered Domino's low-cal Gfree pizza). 
•       WOE to those who drink wine from bowls (we have Reidel glasses made of crystal).
•       WOE to those who use the best anointing oils (we use DoTerra essential-oils). 
•       WOE to you for being materially blessed!

It's ever so interesting that the material blessings (like my beloved body molding, top of the line mattress) can lead to complacency, then to lack of faith, and ultimately to self reliance. All of a sudden all that "stuff" that we thought was from God is now from us and we've confused the order of things. Complacency is in direct competition for our faith. St. Paul (1 Timothy 6: 11-16) exhorts us to pursue righteousness, devotion, faith, love, patience and gentleness. These are all other orientated words not selfish words resting on the laurels of complacency.
Ok, now stay with me...
Then our Gospel for today is the parable told by Jesus about poor, hungry Lazarus who would gladly have eaten scraps fallen from the table of the opulent rich man. The vivid imagery is so thought provoking that Jesus drives this one home by telling us that dogs even licked Lazarus' sores. Lazarus was clothed in sores that were licked by dogs and the rich man who was dressed in fine purple linens was stuffing his face.
Sometimes I just want to say: "Jesus, I got it." Disgusting. The rich guy probably had to walk over/past Lazarus several times a day.  I wonder if he was uncomfortable stepping over him? The story goes that the rich man dies and Lazarus dies. Both succumbing to sister death. The rich man is buried, not an insignificant fact, because nothing is mentioned about Lazarus' funeral. Another significant point is that the rich man lacks a name and Lazarus has one, which shows that the poor are important to God. 
The story in Luke continues to jab at our chests for after the rich man dies he is so thirsty that he even requests if Lazarus with his fingers, most likely having dirt covered sores on them, could just dip them in some water so he could get some relief. When he is denied this, he then requests that someone go and tell his brothers of the impending doom. But, he's denied again.

A picture of our 4 little people to keep you with me.  So what is all this telling us?
God has a sympathetic heart for the poor. He cares for the poor and he cares about how we treat the poor.  It's not the lack of material possessions that is endearing to God. But that the poor CAN posses spiritual riches possibly easier than that the materially rich without all the "stuff" in the way. The poor don't have the illusion of self sufficiency. Nor do they presume that they can save themselves. Finally, the poor can more easily recognize the need for a Savior. Finally, Finally, (as a disclaimer) God doesn't mention Lazarus' lack of illusion, or disorientated sense of self, or a need for a savior. God just tells us that the poor are really important to him.
Paradoxically, often Jesus tells parables that start in the material world and move to the spiritual world. Likewise, parables often seem to be stating a lot about humanity, but in the end tell even more about the nature and essence of God.  
To me this parable actually seems to be more about God than it is about us. It challenges us to reconsider and rethink the poor in our lives and how we treat the guy at the end of the interstate exit. It's serious and addressed rather poignantly in Matthew 25: "What ever you did for the least of my people you did to me."
It's as if God is revealing to us the true gift of faith and the duty it brings to love and care for the poor. This gift of faith has to be something competed for, worked for, and not something that we can become complacent in our chase loungers or Tempur-Pedic beds. I love being challenged to go deeper (well, most of the time), to squirm in the pew and think: "Oh boy, this God loves me. REALLY loves me. And wants me to hear this message loud and clear and to LOVE HIS POOR."
We had a victory the other night here in the Loboda household. Isaiah, my oldest son, wanted to say the grace before dinner. Now, every time I've said grace for 15+ years I pray for the poor before I eat. Isaiah's prayer, though slightly revamped from my own, asked God to bless our food and to bless all of those that had no food this night to eat- AMEN. Tears welled up in my eyes. It can be easy to not be thankful, to be selfish, to be complacent, to take our faith and the poor for granted. I'm proud of Isaiah and I know that childlike prayer falls on the ears of God like a lead balloon. 

Our Zah catching a fish.

Tonight before I sit on my lush couch watching my $1,000 flat screen TV, I plan to pray for the poor and to ask God to help me to recognize them more in my day to day life.  Peace, Matt

Back on the Wagon

Man oh man, has it been hard to find a sliver of time in my days full of kiddos and stuff to put my simulating thoughts (ha!) down on dis here blog. But here I am, because well I just can't quit this... I like it too much (smiley face insert).

My Matt has been slacking on his Sanctifying Sunday editions too, but he just made me the above Gfree pizza, so forgiveness is all his.  Speaking of my man, it is always the best thang ever when Matt and I are able to take a night out by ourselves. I mean seriously is there anything better than being able to sit, eat, and talk without being interrupted every.single .5 seconds. (We did have Hope with us, but besides the new squawking sound she has recently been gracing us with, she is easy peasy.)  Our much needed date night was made possible, because my brother Nate watched our hoodlums plus his two for a sleep over movie night. Heck ya for them and hell ya for us! 

To start our night out Matt says: "Hey, take a picture of me sporting the pink diaper bag and then you can blog for 'What I Wore Sunday'." He did look pretty cute, so of course I snapped the moment. 

Livin' on our new Island we are bound and determine to discover every cool spot that there is, which honestly could take a lifetime. Last night we found this mural outside our favorite Island Sushi spot. So per usual we made our mark with a photo (or 20!). 

I have just recently discovered Instagram (yes, I am a little slow in the uptaking) and I have become a tiny bit obsessed. Instagram just makes everything look SO amazing! So purdy please let me know if you have an account, because I want to follow you!
And because it is still Sunday (11:09pm to be exact), Happy Sunday y'all! I can't say I heard too much of the Gospel today at Mass due to a nursing babe and 3 other kiddos trying to touch or hold onto some part of me. But I can say that in the midst of being used as my 3 year olds kleenex day in and day out, I love being God's child and I am so thankful for the gift of life and love! 

what they said...

Before school one morning...
Isaiah: "Hey Mom, can you put some Jello in my hair?"
I think you mean gel, dear. 

While randomly surfing my phone looking for some good scoop...
Matt: "I have to say looking at your text messages are just so boring. They all say the same thing-- 'I'm so sorry I haven't called you back in 3 weeks.'"
Yes, I am boring... And yes, calling people back is not my strong point to say the least. Both of which I am so glad he discovered after we were married!

Grace: "Mamma, Zah and Doggie (Isaac) are trying to climb on the ruuf (roof)."
Me: *eye squint* "Huh? What?"
Me: *eye squint*
Then I ran out the door to see what the heck was going on. Seriously, how I ever get dinner made is amazing. So yes, I am A-MAZ-ING for making dinner every night (or every other or 3 times a week, same diff).

Matt, being totally serious: "My Facebook page is blowing up. In the past hour I have 6 new friends!"
Totally blowin' up, Babe.

After telling Grace that I had a belly ache...
Grace: Moms, my lipstick will make it all better.
*sigh* If only life were that simple.

While trying to find my way around Tampa, Isaiah says to me:
"Mom, don't you know I am like am like a GPS. Just ask me and I will tell you how to get there."
Sadly, at only 7 years old, he does seem to know his way around better than I do.

Grace every night before bed...
"I want to wear my diaper and belly button to bed."
As you wish, my little one.

As Matt was trying to dress Hope in her pj's for bed...
Matt: "How is it that I have been totally defeated by a 10 month old."
Yea, I have to admit it was great entertainment to sit back and watch Hope destroy her dad in the battle of getting her pajamas on!

Somehow Matt and the boys managed to put these puppies on her though.

Grace: "Momma, I love you as much as I love your makeup."
In her little world this is actually like the greatest compliment that she could give me. So thank you my Gracie girl and I love you more than your makeup! 

Matt: "Babe, don't take this the wrong way... because I am not saying that I don't like your glasses, but don't you think you are due for a new pair...like a new stylish pair... Just saying."

Yea, maybe he is right. I have had these bad boys since 1997. 

What do you think?? Help this 'no sense of real fashion' momma out!

Sanctifying Sunday, Sunday Best, WIWS, Birthday Blog-- or whatever!

I can't help but love how he contributes to my blogo! He said he wanted to write something to make me laugh on my birthday, which really is so thoughtful of him. 

But before I turn it over to my Matt, just one little FYI that I thought you should be aware of. 

He did ask  me: "Do you think people are going to think I am funny or really weird for writing this." 

I had no answer for him. 

Now for da man of the hour (or 3.5 minutes, however long it takes you to read this)...

This ol' move to TizzyTampa (thats the Bronx coming out of me, which I'll push it back in, but someday I'll video my shimmy or shake depending on if you're from the Bronx or Harlem--- trying to keep ya in suspense) has got us crazy. Butt (I LUV using the the wrong "but"), I'm taking time out to hook up for Saturday or Sunday best or WIWS.

The deets on my apparel

Hat: Converse, Target 4 yrs ago. LUV hats and I'm simply fine with being the old dad w 4 kids trying to hold on to my converse hat. I'm not giving it up, BAM! Nor my red vans BOOM! But, I did by a wild hat from polo 70% off that may not fly to well with the wifey- I'll keep ya posted. 

Glasses: No name. Lost my favorite pair of glasses, which Kristin consequently HATED.  I tried to remind her that as Disciples of Christ we should not hate.  Well, the old glasses are floating somewhere with cement shoes in the Gulf of Mexico. These new suckas were $75 bucks. I walked in, told the optometrist my wife off'd my fab pair and he pulled this box out of the garbage and said pick one & I'll put your lenses in & they're yours for $75. I asked if there was a warranty and he laughed.  

Polo TShirt: 2XL at only 11.99. I waked into Ambrcrombie and Finchbigots and the guy who weighed a buck ten soak n' wet (my rt leg weighs more than that on a diet) informs me right off the bat, before I have even crossed through the threshold of the store, that "we don't carry your size." Whhhhooa. Maybe I should call my lawyer and y'all be whooping it up at Ambercrombie and Matt!  HAAAAHAAAAHaHAhizzyha.

Beard: Super trimmed up since last week.  I LUV it long, but Isaiah said that I looked like the guy on the side of the road asking for money the other day.  I took his words as a compliment. However, my poor brother on the side of the road held a sign that said, "will work for food."  My sign would have been like my other friend at another intersection in Tampa that says, "I'm not going to lie- I need a beer."  I give that guy $20.  It's HOT down here in Florida.

Now onto Some Sunday Meat: 

Thus says the LORD:

I will pour out on the house of David

and on the inhabitants of Jerusalem

a spirit of grace and petition;

and they shall look on him whom they have pierced (also translated as THRUST THREW),

and they shall mourn for him as one mourns for an only son,

and they shall grieve over him as one grieves over a firstborn.

From the Minor Prophet Zechariah.  

Jesus is close to us. So close to us. 
He opens himself up to be close to us so that we can identify with him and others.  It's tempting for me to hit auto pilot when I hear: "Thus says The Lord." Often times I am sitting at Church thinking: "I've heard this before...." Well, I have heard it, but understanding it is completely different! Jesus' Incarnation puts Him close to our hearts. One translation, as I noted above, is rendered "Thrust threw".  I think of all the people I know (knew and will meet someday) who have been "thrust threw"and my heart breaks. But, I'm sure God's heart breaks more..... And, Jesus knows--- he really, REALLY knows how excruciatingly painful it is to be "Thrust threw."

We have a God who became fully human and knows the pain to lose a first born child-- Jesus and us.  We have a personal God who knows the pain of betrayal- by others, by ourselves, our emotions, our bodies....

He's really closer than we think. 

Shifting gears again to some photo commentary:

The kiddos were starving and the table was set and they were soaked from swimming. So, I had to change 5 kids by my lonesome (super easy by way of this deficient daddy). I am the first born and see everything as a competition.  Unfortunately the picture above can show how my determination can be a little reckless.  I was changing my God-Daughter out of her wet suit (which why the heck is that SO HARD) and she was crying when I was taking her swim top off: "You're hurting me, you're hurting me!"  I responded: "Mia, since you are part of this family, you've simple got be tough." Well, look closely at the pic above. She did have a legit claim against me.  A little hair will grow back, right? No big deal.  

I seriously almost burnt my face off taking this pic.  This is a breakfast pizza that I made for dinner as the kids were swimming. G-Free. That's all I can tell you. I'm like a mad scientist in the kitchen and I don't measure shat.  Just a big dose of LUV.  

Isaiah said: "This is awesome dad. Thanks!" Gotta love a thankful heart. 

That's all he wrote folks! Till next time- Happy Birthday, Babe.  

Sanctifying Sunday Sabbatical and Sunday Best

Matt is back and in full action... 

I've been holding out.  Almost like the NBA lockout or the writers guild strike a few years back.... I think.  I was waiting for my HUGE fan base (there's only 2 and you'll have to read this whole thing to find out who it is) to rally behind me to just come out and post something, anything. It just didn't happen.  Then Kristin, way back when, called me over and said that some super popular girl from Camp Painting had given me a shout out because of my rarely found and unique dynamic mixture of prose, humor, and incredible insight. Well, that was the nail in the coffin.

So here goes an attempt at something...

My mother-in-law does this to me to all the time.  For example, a conversation will go something like this--

Sweet Mother-in-Law Gale: "Matt, couple of quick requests before our guests come for dinner."

Obedient Son-in Law Matt:  "Sure.  Whatever you need, just tell me."

Sweet Mother-in Law Gale with a little more seriousness in her voice:  "We have some really important people coming over, so please entertain us with some good humor, walk the line with your language and if you cross it just simply apologize for ill-humor and lack of poor judgement."

Internal Matt's thoughts: Well, that will be easy. As it is one of my trade marks and really draws the crowd in...

Sweet Mother-in-Law Gale: "Oh, and Matt, it seems as if you have been in a melancholic mood today.  Do you think you can snap out of it and just make us laugh and keep the conversation going. And by the way, the guy who wears the bow tie is a physicist.  Could you read up on something to have a conversation with him too?"

Favorite Son-in-Law Matt:  "Gale, I'll read up on some nano physics and the God particle- bet he doesn't know a Jesuit discovered it... most importantly, does bow tie guy drink whiskey?"

Sweet Mother-in-Law Gale: "Yes."

FlavaFlav Son-in-Law:  "I got this fo-sure.  (I used to hang out in the Bronx right across the street from the rapper with the huge clock around his neck and would yell up to his Penthouse, 'Yo, it's me, Brother Isaiah, let me in!'  His floor was way up there 45 floors or something.  I still hold to this day that if he did hear me he would have let me in." 

Favorite Son-in Law at the beginning of the dinner: "Great to meet everyone.  I have a question, does anyone know the difference between in-laws and out-laws?" DEAD silence.  I respond: "Well, out-laws are wanted!"

The response was weak at best, so I thought I would pull out another oldie but goodie.

Not so Favorite Son-in-Law or Husband at this time (I'm thinking, redemption time):  "Hey, does anyone know why it seems that husbands die before their wives?"  Now everyone thinks that we've moved from pathetic humor to a more substantial conversation.  There's serious discussion going on in the room: stress, poor eating habits, demands of providing for the family, genetics....  I finalized the conversation with a declarative statement: "It's simple, It's because they want to!"  SHINTO

Not so nice face from Mother-in-Law and the "you're not getting any dessert tonight" look from the ol' smokin' hot wifey, even if she has drank three bottles of skinny girl COSMOMARGARITAAAA.

BUT,  that's ok.  I'm still the favorite Son-in-Law, because there aren't any other son-in-laws in the family!  And Kristin is in this for LIFE.  It was a valid marriage, full knowledge and consent was present (maybe just a little coercion with my good looks), and it was with the absence of fear, ignorance, or violence- just a little bit of concupiscence.... that makes it like a good cocktail.  It was all good and neither of us are going anywhere.

So, that's the pressure.  It's like this girl from Camp Planet Smoothy put some huge pressure on me and shut me down.  Then another lady gave my wife one line comment out from NCR (thank the good Lord it wasn't NPR) and I didn't want to mess up their mojo- either of them....

I'm over it now after doing my link up with what I wore last week.  I've got more 5 favs to come and some "quick seven takes" too.

So, a super quick thought about Father's Day.  I think we should strike the Father's Day off the calendar for a few years until we men get our acts together.  If I hear Oprah say "crisis of manhood" one more time I'll scream.  But if I hear her say a "crisis of FATHERHOOD" then I yell, "ALLEILUYEAR!"

We should have two Mother's Days a year- the second on the kid's birthday.  It shouldn't be for the kid, it should be for the MOM!  She's the one who sacrificed her body for 9 months, went through excruciating pain (the whole birthing process is outrageous- I have a whole stash of smelling salts in my pocket and some hidden in my socks just in case I actually do hit the floor and can have easy access and not miss the birth of one of my children).  I'm mean, yeah it's beautiful in a really weird twisted way.  Beautiful after all the screaming, crying, and cursing stops AND all the nastiness all over the place cleaned up- then it's beautiful.

Let's not forget that mom won't sleep for another year while the wee little one cries, poops, eats (that's why I'm the National Male President of Le LECHE- I even have a bumper sticker that reads "Got Breast Milk?  Good, You'll get more SLEEP!"   Guys are honking at me giving me fake high fives all over the place.)

So, I'm back.  Two Mother's Days it is a year and I would like to thank my two faithful followers, Sarah Sahm and LeBron James.  I appreciate your support.

What They Said....

Grace: I love Uncle Katrin.
Me: You mean Aunt Katrin?
Grace: Yes, Uncle Katrin.

While Matt and I were looking at Hope and examining her cute chunky thighs.
Matt: I guess we know she has your legs.
Me: Thanks Babe. Thanks a lot.

Hope with her chunky thighs!

When Matt and I had the night "off" while our biggers were sleeping over at Aunt Katrin's and Uncle Nate's.
Matt: Do you want to call and check on our kids to pretend that we care?
Me: Babe, I already spoke to them twice. (Yes, I get the better parent award for this one.)

During Mass the day of Grace's birthday our Priest was talking about sanctifying grace.

Isaac: Is he talking about Grace because, it's her birthday weekend?

Me: Yes, you're right, now shhhhhhhh!

Grace: Momma, when you were a little baby you drink my milk?
Me: No. I drank my Mommy's milk.
Grace: NOOOO! You drink my milk.
Whatever you say girlfriend!

Isaac: Mom, don't forget to put Probiotics in my water this morning.

Just a little Loboda morning talk. 

7 Quick Takers

Linking up with Jen at Conversion Diary and all the other 7 quick takers again!

~1~ 

CrossFit day 3 done. 

I'm still walking, a good sign. 

This mamma is happily sore and now knows what a burpee is, which should be renamed as the move that will kill you (literally) if you do 30 in a row.

~2~

Like usual, my husband has been amazing this week. He watched the kids 3 mornings in a row while I was sweating away at the gym. Thank you my dear Matthew for being committed to getting my abs back. They (my abs) will never forget your kindness as they are being tortured to and fro.

~3~

It's our nephew Ziggy's 5th birthday weekend. Check out this cutie patootie. Nate and Katrin generously watched our 3 biggers last night so that they were able to celebrate today at his party. This meant that Matt I were home alone with just baby Hope and oh the fun we had! 

But I do have to say that it is nice to have all 4 home and snug in their beds tonight.

Ziggy and Isaac are 2 peas in a pod. 

~4~

We celebrated Gracie girl's birthday this past weekend, so of course a photo shoot was due for our little diva. Here's to hoping that by her 4th birthday she will be fully potty trained.

~5~

Hopie girl is 7 months old. She is almost into a full blown crawl, but still trying to master her sitting up skills. We just can't get enough of this little girly. I am sure you can see why! 

~6~

I am slowly unfolding the Instagram App. I started a profile under Teamboda. Let me know if you think I should start posting to it. It looks like a lot of fun, but a teeny bit addicting.

~7~

I am bound and determined to learn how to french braid my girls hair. This was my first attempt on the Gracie girl. I need a LOT of practice, but she thought it was "cute Momma".

Love and prayers to you all!!

Sanctifying Sunday: Peter's Redemption

Hope y'all had a restful Lord's Day, as usual we spent ours in the pool. 

Matt has taken over again...Enjoy!

It sounds preposterous, but I want to be Jesus' favorite.

This weeks Gospel has been an ALL time favorite of mine. In this Gospel when Jesus appears to the disciples Peter puts his clothes on and jumps out of the boat to greet him!  I just can't get over the fact that Peter puts his clothes ON to jump in the water.  Most of the time, I'm pretty sure, people take their clothes OFF to jump in water.  

A quick side note, I'm pretty sure that if I was someone in the Gospel I would certainly be Peter.  I wish I could with utter certainty say that I would have been John the beloved. I mean hey, I even took my confirmation name after him because I thought --who would I rather be than the most beloved of Jesus?  I guess I'm finally realizing in life that who I wish I would be is very different than who I am (eg: I wish I was an Abercrombie model, but they don't sell 2X).  

Simply put, I have had this obsession with Peter and even more simply put my wife is confused by my compulsion.  This annoying back and forth relationship with Peter, not my wife, has been around as long as I can remember.  

I know why Peter put his clothes back on and stepped out of the boat. I think that the reason is REALLY important on a couple of different levels.  I've been in, around, and through Peter's mind and definitely know why he did it.  Maybe I am being blazingly bold, but please humor me.  

When John the BELOVED identifies the mysterious figure on the beach as Jesus, Peter puts on his clothes and jumps in the water.  Here's where I always get stuck.  Why put your clothes on unless you don't think you're going to get wet!

Peter puts his clothes on to jump out of the boat.  That's really counterintuitive (stupid).  I'm positive that something very human was taking place as well.  Something very Peterish.

I surmise that Peter has been "through the ringer" and had to go fishing to collect his thoughts.  It certainly was a confusing time.  The guy that he had followed around for 3 years just died, and to boot, he denied knowing him 3 times.  To make things even more confusing, Jesus has appeared to him twice, BUT Jesus' is supposed to be dead....  I would need to take a fishing break too!

Here it is, Peter once walked on the water for a few steps and then began to sink.  But maybe, just maybe, Peter knows that this is his chance for redemption.  There's Jesus and THIS time Peter knows that he can walk on the water, maybe just maybe, he would RUN on the water- TO JESUS.

Now, I know that this is a lot of speculation.  But, stories like this, ones we have heard a GABILLION times, deserve a thorough reading.  I don't want to miss moments of redemption.  If I can miss it in a story that is written down, I can definitely miss the moments of redemption in my life that go whipping by.  

This is consoling to me. Peter, who didn't get it time after time, just like me, was given another opportunity for redemption and an opportunity to TRUST- and walk on the water for a second time. Even though Jesus doesn't play favorites, I'm going to be his one way or another- John the Beloved (my confirmation name) or Peter the Slow Learner (my current experience).