August 16, 2013

7 Quick Takes: Don't do it

Joining Jen for some 7 Quick Takes: Vacation Style!
1. The past couple of days we were blessed to be able to head north for a little family vacay to sunny Orlando. It was super nice to just be away with de munchkins, Mags (my sister), and Matt. 
But really, is it ever truly vacation when young kids (x4) are involved? Maybe not, but it is always vacation when my wonderful husband is around for 3 full days and not answering his phone or making a business call even once in my presence. Now that was lovely, simple lovely. 
Mags with 3 of our littles. 

2. Awhile back when I was like 180 pounds preggo with our sweet baby Hope, we took the kids for an outing to the Bass Pro Shop. For my boys walking through this ginormous store full of everything boy, fishing and gathering is the equivalent to Disney World. (Seriously, why take your kids to Disney, when you can go to Bass Pro for free.)  So, while walking through this haven a super nice lady was selling trips to Orlando. In my mega pregga state her vacation stand was like a big fatty cheeseburger, fries, and oreo milk shake just begging me to eat, eat, eat (or buy, you know what I mean). So, we did and were super excited about our promised 2 nights and 3 days at the awesomest resort with pools galore and food at your service for only $125. (Plain and simple my heaven is a hotel room with room service.) AND on top of that $100 in gift cards. Pshht, no brainer, right? The only thing you had to do was listen to a 2 hour presentation about the resort. No problemo, where do I sign... 
The day we bought our vacation package. 
Their rides at Bass Pro Shop. 

3. Now fast forward to a week ago when I found the package stuffed away in my night gown drawer, that never gets touched because I don't wear night gowns. I look at de folder and realize that we have like uno month until it expires! So now I start dialing the number and praying they can give me the only dates that will work for us, which is like the next day (planning in advance are words that don't breach my everyday life). Well, God was looking out for his little girl (me) and they said we could come!
4. So a day later we arrive at our resort destination, but check in isn't until 4pm. 3days my arse! Since when was a day considered to start at 4pm. Anyways, no biggie, moving on (kind of)... Our "first day" (starting at 4:30) was good. We swam, played splash bball, enjoyed the kiddos, and explored our new little apartment size room. 
5. Day Two: We start the day off by letting the kids have popsicles for breakfast, making us the the most awesome parents around. Then we head out to enjoy the pool once again. At 11:30am, though, we have to rush the kids back to our room, so that we can make it to our 2 hour presentation about the resort. So, Mags watches the kiddos and we speed off with my hair dripping wet. 

Isaiah enjoying his morning popsicle. 

6. Then we enter the pressure cooker/dungeon of regret. This very nice man begins talking us through the why's of why we should invest bucco bucks and thus make vacations our top priority. So an hour into our guilt trip of "the only way we are good parents is if we invest in their vacation resorts for our kids and then pass this investment all the way down to our grandkids," I tell the nice man: "I just want you to know that I have a nursing baby back in our room with my sister, so we really need to stay within the 2 hour time frame that was promised us when we bought this package." 
"Okay, no problem," he says.
Well... another hour goes by and we are still there, looking at vacation resort destinations that we will never be taking. The pressure to buy is now beginning to make me a little nauseous. I say again, "I do need to get back to my baby really soon, because she is a nursing baby." 
"Ok, no prob," he says again. 
Matt waiting in line for our presentation/meeting/hell. (Don't worry he is giving the fake finger)

Another pointless hour goes by while we are still trying to say NO we are not going to buy into your great deal because we are obviously very, very stupid and don't love our kids and don't want to provide the best vacations possible for them. By this point I begin to discreetly put my hands over my ears, drowning out some of his noise while now feeling like I am listening to Charlie Brown's teacher. Still he keeps talking and talking. 
So now going on 3 1/2 hours,  I interrupt once again saying: "My baby only gets her milk through the breasts that are on my body, so I will be leaving now." My standing up helps him to catch my drift, but still he has the nerve to ask before I go if I could give him 5 referrals. Hell no! I would not put anyone in my phone contacts through this 3 hour misery. Then somehow I slither out and leave Matt to deal with the rest of the headache where I speed to my babe, who really does need to eat by this point. 
7. So the next day (our 3rd dia), we are ready to vacay it up, but check out time is 10am. So much for 3 days! The first stared at 4pm, the second was interrupted by an infuriating presentation of buy, buy, buy and the 3rd was cut short at 10am. 
7.5 So, short cut to the chase: The kids had a blast, we made some great memories, loved swimming and being able to have popsicles in the morning. But, we will never and I mean never sit through another time share presentation again. Just sayin'. 
I look a little stoned in this picture, but I'm not, promise. Just full of kid lovin'.


  1. haha, the pict of matt waiting and your exit line had me laughing.
    What cheapskates- only 1 full day and a crazy long presentation! Every time I hear of those deals, though, I'm so tempted, esp. since I think I would just sit through the presentation determined to say "no", but I guess they're determined to make you say "yes"!
    Glad you guys got some fun fam time. :)

    1. Thanks! The rooms really are amazing, though. Its just the pressure is SO hard for a people pleaser like myself.

      Glad you liked the pic of Matt, I thought it was hilarious, but my mom was a little scandalized. Haha!

  2. You have such a good attitude. I think I would be all ******** vacation and ********* presentation...but I'm glad at least some parts were fun.

  3. Oh my gosh, Kristen, this is too funny! My husband's boss always gets free stuff because he listens to these presentations, so J and I have kicked around the idea... No thanks! I don't know who would crack first under the pressure, but I'm sure it would happen, and then a marital dispute to follow!


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