May 9, 2013

CrossFit for the Old

"I have had enough!!" I screamed.

The above sentence is my flare for the dramatic. Did you find it dramatic? Yes, I thought so.

I have had enough of being the MOST out of shape person in the whole wide world. So... I started CrossFit at a gym right around the corner from my house. 

Here is the low down.

Day 1:
Within seconds of shaking hands with my 24 year old young muscle mania trainer, I rattled off in one breath: "Hi my name Kristin I have 4 kids and haven't done anything in a gym for like 6 years but please think of me as the athlete that I was back in the day even though I won't look like one to you. Oh and please don't push me to the point of not being able to walk or pick up my kids. Muchos gracias. " He then pipes in, extremely enthusiastically at that: "4 kids! You look great!" Bam. Exactly what I wanted to hear. Now I can go home completely satisfied and eat some more WW chocolate bars on my couch.  

He then continues with some CrossFit jiberish talk *eye roll* with a curse word punctuating the end of his sentence, which while still basking in the glow of "you look great" I heard nothing of the cross fit philosophy just the word that I would die (laughing and then be in total horror) if/when my kids ever utter. So I blurted out: "Did you just say Sh*T??" Which he responded: "Yeah" with the expression that screamed Wow you are really an old woman. All of which totally hit my funny bone, leaving me in awkward laughter. 

SO, as you can see, within minutes of my first attempt to get back in shape I was on stable ground with my trainer, who thought I was an old fashion OLD mom. 

With all that said, how did day numero uno go? Well, I will let my abs do the talkin', all of which are still pulsating to the beat of the jam box that was playing over head. 

Success I tell ya'.

This is Grace doing her exercises. She shows us this move at least 20 times a day. 
Day 2: 
New trainer and new attempt to make myself look not so out of place. Deep breath. "Hi, my name is Kristin, I have 4 kids six and under, hence all of my flabbiness, but I use to play college basketball, I promise I am not making that up and I am ready to work hard, just please don't make me cry in pain when I get home or my husband will never let me come back." 

Persona fit trainer responds: "Yeah, big deal 4 kids. We have 4 kids too, the youngest of whom is 2 months and my wife is already back to a size 2." Thank you for sharing Mr. Trainer guy, thank you so much, because I will never be a size 2 even if I were training for the olympics and had zero kids. So, as you can see, once again off to another great start. 

I ended the workout with 12 cow bells (there has to be another spelling for that in the cross fit world), 12 pull ups (with straps and and box to help me get my multi-chin a centemiter past the bar) and a 400 hundred meter run. All x 3. 

The three 400's (not even equalling a mile!) did me in. I think it looked like I was walking, but really I was running as hard as my little "I think I can I think I can" engine could take me, wondering the whole time how to get my hands on a light and sweet coffee from the Dunkin' Donuts of which the building I ran past 6 times in my back and forth marathon.

The verdict. 
I finished 2 days of crossfit. Probably very badly for the average person 34 years and up. 
But amazingly for this mom of 4 who didn't even know what a cow bell was, hasn't attempted a pull up since 7th grade gym class (which I couldn't even do then) and who hasn't sprinted in lets say 7 years. 

Success I tell ya'.

Post workout with my Crossfit gang symbol, meaning peace out. 


  1. You're not old....because you're the same age as me, so if you're old that would make me old, and I'm not old, so you aren't either. :)

    Ha...I loved your description of Crossfit..and I don't know what a cowbell is either, other than something a bell that a cow wears, but I'm guessing that's not what you used.

  2. Um, I'm dying laughing at that last picture.

    Also - please tell me you're joking...and that second trainer didn't actually tell you his wife is back to a size 2? If that's true...that dude is an asshat.

  3. Wow! I'm impressed! I would have dropped dead before I finished the first pull-up. Of course, I was never able to do a pull-up EVER, and I'm 30 years older than you, but still...I've also never been able to do the disciplined exercise thing. In my book you're WAY ahead of the game!

  4. Oh my gosh - I almost died reading that your abs are still pulsating to the beat. I have one CrossFit style class offered at my gym on Saturday mornings, and I do it, but I'm not sure how close to the real thing it is.

  5. Haha I love this! I would be terrified to walk into a CrossFit. And what a jerk that trainer was - size 2, maybe, but she's probably also like, 5'2". And if you played college basketball there's NO way you're that short, so you'd look like a doofus if you were a size 2. Ridiculous!

    1. Rosie, I love how we momma's have each others back!

  6. Haha I love that you started CrossFit right off the bat! Way to go! I love how shocked you were at his cussing :) Way to show them that kind of language isn't automatically accepted by everyone!

    1. Lol! I am like a fish out of water starting right off the bat there, but I needed to just start somewhere!

  7. Oh Maz, I'm sure you are awesome! I can't believe we used to run, do box jumps, jump rope, etc. ALL the time! I literally can't even imagine! I am honestly just looking forward to mom and dad opening the pool so i'll get some relief from the extra weight! haha. love you!

  8. your post made me laugh! (with you for sure, definitely not at you---you are super brave to even walk into a cross fit gym!) good luck on getting in shape!!

  9. You are so funny! And you already look in amazing shape--not just for a mom with four kids under six, but for anybody!


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